An Open Letter to CBS Casting For Survivor On Behalf Of My Boy The Rabbit

There are a handful of people in my life that I consider my brothers.  Special people that no matter what I’d have their back and I know they would have mine- UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE-Under ANY HARDSHIP- WITHOUT FAIL.

There are about five of these guys in my life and I could write novels about each one of them but right now I want to talk about The Rabbit.  I’ve known the Rabbit for over 20 years when we were running hard in Beantown tearing shit up in our single days.

You’ve seen pictures here and many videos with my boy The Rabbit but what many of you may not know is that he has applied for every single season of Survivor without fail.  EVERY SEASON.

We had dinner with one of the creators and director of Around The World For Free Zsolt who speaks seven languages and has worked as a cameraman on The Amazing Race when they came to town this week.  I stated at dinner that even after taking into account the incredible number of people that apply to go on Survivor (like Gloucester’s favorite son Jimmy T) and taking into account how many people that apply to go on Survivor that posses extraordinary physical condition or mental power that the casting people are crazy not to put The Rabbit on the show.

Let me be clear.  I’m not stating that the Rabbit is a genius by any stretch of the imagination (actually quite the opposite).

I’m not stating that The Rabbit is a physical specimen to behold (he clearly isn’t).

But let me get to the reasons I think the Rabbit would be perfect for Survivor.

• The Rabbit thinks he is really smart and will go on and on without any filter about random nonsense.  If you watch the show you know that you can get pretty far in the game by being a wallflower.  Working hard and keeping your mouth shut so you won’t piss off any of the other players. If every contestant played this type of wallflower game the show would be boring as hell.  The Rabbit simply doesn’t have it in him to keep his mouth shut.  He will ramble incessantly and try to strategize right from the get go.

• I know of no one that loves the game more than him.  Let me give you an example.  We go to Vegas every year and every year we get into Vegas on Thursday night.  What do you usually do when you get to Vegas the first night?  Go Hard, right?  Not the Rabbit.  He would stay in to watch fucking Survivor the first night we get to Vegas!!!! He also has applied to every season-  That’s something like 20 seasons or something!

• The Rabbit Is Spontaneous- no matter the time of day- how far he has to drive- if there is something interesting to do the Rabbit will jump to it without any hesitation.

• The Rabbit is an independent thinker.  He may not be brilliant but he does follow his heart and will not be put into a box or confined by conventional wisdom.

I don’t know if this post will ever find it’s way to the right people at CBS Survivor casting but I know with all my heart that The Rabbit would be a fan favorite in the mold of a Rupert but in a sort of inane crazier type of way.  If they want ratings and someone that will make things interesting, they should want the Rabbit.

I Love You Man.

The Rabbit All Busted Up

Man vs Burger

Rabbit On The Greasy Pole

In Vegas

The Rabbit At Fiesta

God Only Knows

Missing?

At The Pole

Rabbit Hit The Windshield

The Rabbit Sausage Casing Shirt

Bachelor Party In Tampa

Ron Jeremy On A Bad Day