Tag Archives: Soggy Fries


In this day and age would it be safe to say that 97% of all restaurant leftovers get reheated in  a microwave?

So why in the world do restaurants use aluminum to-go containers that will cause sparks to fly if you try to reheat them? 

Makes absolutely no sense to me.  You know who uses the best to-go containers?  Chipolte.  It’s a heavy duty paper dish that has some type of lamination that doesn’t make it soggy.  Totally holds up and is totally microwavable and I assume very recyclable.

2012-12-18 07.56.09

I wonder what the thought process is for restaurateurs.  Is it 100% based on low cost?  Is it based on ease of storage in their space?  

Not as terrible a to-go option as the styrofoam soggy fry containers but still not optimal.


Posted on October 25, 2011 by Joey C

Attention Restaurateurs- French Fry Rant and Kudos

There are more than a couple of  joints in town that can cook a great burger but there are only one or two that cook an exceptional burger and then pair it with exceptional french fries for under $10.  The two that come to mind are Minglewood Tavern and Passports.

The key to exceptional fries IMO are their crispness on the outside and soft fluffiness on the inside.  If you go to Passports ask for the “Joey Fries”  They aren’t on the menu but they are hand cut done well and are killer diller just like the ones at Minglewood.

For other great french fries in town go to Leonardos.  They have it down.  Even if you get them to go they package them properly so when you get to where you going they still retain that crispness.

There isn’t much more disappointing in the french fry world than a soggy fry.  So if you are running a restaurant locally ask yourself “Are my fries soggy?’  If the answer is yes, then take whatever measures necessary to figure that shit out.  Your sales will increase and the people who patronize your joint will no longer say, yeah, the burgers are really good but the fries are soggy and limp.

If you have any questions as to the quality of the french fries you serve your patrons here’s what you do.

Hold the french fry from one end.

If the fry has any sag to it that is a fail.

Heat the goddamn oil up.  Use a different kind of oil.  I dunno, I’m no chef, I’m not getting paid to figure this stuff out.  All I’m trying to do is make your food better so you can increase your sales.

If the chef you pay inst willing to figure it out, get a new chef.

So to sum up this post- Soggy Limp Fries are unacceptable.

Fix this.  Please.  Thank you.

Minglewood Tavern Burger Below-


That’s some french fry excellence right there boy!


So mid morning I get a call from Ed (do I even have to say his last name any more) Collard

He asks about lunch and I tell him to swing by and we will discus our plan of attack. We settle on cheeseburger plates from a local joint and I call in the order.

Me on the phone-

I would like two bacon cheeseburgers with thousand island dressing and two orders of fries.  Oh and could you please be sure to leave the container open because I don’t want the fries to get all soggy on the drive back to the dock?

The woman assures me that they would put the fries in a separate container.

Ed heads out to pick up lunch.

One thing you can count on down the dock is that the very minute take-out arrives there will be two or three boats that hit the dock to be offloaded at that very moment.  It doesn’t matter if you haven’t had a boat pull up to offload for two hours- the precise moment when the delivery guy shows up and you hand him your money you can place all your money on the fact that there will be a boat to offload within your first bite of anything you order. That’s just the way it is and I’ve come to expect that.

So sure enough Ed returns with lunch in two large paper bags containing our burgers and fries and heads up to the office to eat and at the very same time two small boats hit the dock.  It takes only about 10 minutes to offload them and put the lobsters away and I bound up the stairs to the office where my burger and fries await.

Mr Wonderful Ed Collard hearing me on the phone asking the waitress to please leave the container open so my fries wouldn’t get soggy decides to pull a prank on me.

The rotten prick duct tapes the edges of the styrofoam container.DSC00562DSC00563

Now you might think that because they punched a few holes in the top of the container that that is enough to let the steam escape and to salvage the fries but let me assure you that that just isn’t the case.


Fries to go should be in either cups or those white clam boxes in a separate bag.  I don’t care if you punched holes in the top to let the steam out, when you stack another box on top of it the steam still doesn’t have any where to go except into the moisture receptacles formerly known as french fries.


Limper than an eighty year old dude’s dick.


You might as well have poured some gravy over the goddamn things because they were like eating mashed potatoes.

I owe you one Ed.