You can suck schweddy balls.
The American Family Association is organizing a protest over Ben and Jerry’s new ice cream flavor named "Schweddy Balls Ice Cream"
God almighty do people have to suck the fun out of everything? Can’t they just lighten up and laugh about it? Aren’t there way worse tragedies occurring in the world that could use attention rather than uniting the AFA forces in a fight against schweddy balls ice cream?
Last I checked no one died eating schweddy balls.
I stand firmly behind my large inventory of schweddy balls and would like to endorse the eating of schweddy balls for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
If there were more eating of the schweddy balls ice cream I’m quite confident the world would be a much friendlier place.
See I’m guessing the main problem for the founding fathers and organizers of the AFA schweddy balls boycott is the fact that no one has paid any attention to their schweddy balls in quite some time.
Perhaps if the men and women of the AFA enjoyed a little schweddy ball action instead of thinking up such ridiculous things to boycott, this too would lead to a much happier life.
I’m sure Ben and Jerrys could never pay for the kind of attention that their schweddy balls are getting thanks to the AFA boycott.
So unite normal people who can enjoy a little light hearted fun and go get you some schweddy balls.
Really if anything should be boycotted is any funding to the AFA. It’s a total misuse of money supporting such dopey organizations.
You want to donate to some organizations that can actually help the children of America? How about donating to organizations that help children with terminal cancer or fight child abuse, or drug prevention? I say the boycott should really be started on a far greater abuse and it starts with the abuse of the AFA taking funds which could be used for far greater good on something that matters. Who the fuck would want to attend a meeting where they can’t even appreciate the humor in an ice cream being named "Schweddy Balls" for chrissake anyway?
You can check out their fantastic records of how they pay themselves in this “non-profit” here at some dude named Kevin’s Blog–
I’ve gotten the information below from their tax forms, which anyone can view for free. You can see their 2005 990 tax form here. I have also summarized things at the end, in case you didn’t want to read all the gory details.
Let’s show these moral police bannanaheads that we won’t tolerate the pussification of America.
Who’s with me?
Here are some organizations that could probably use your donations a whole lot more than the ice cream nazis over at the AFA-
The Partnership at Drugfree.org (formerly Partnership for a Drug-Free America)
Action on Smoking and Health
Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation
Children’s Defense Fund
Alzheimer’s Foundation of America
American Brain Tumor Association
American Kidney Fund
American Liver Foundation
Lupus Research Institute
National Alliance to End Homelessness
Salvation Army – Eastern Territory
The Y (formerly YMCA of the United States) – N.O.
Action Against Hunger – USA
Reading is Fundamental
National Council on Aging
National Military Family Association