Tag Archives: Nike

Update To The Nike Make Me Some Dri-Fit Boxer- Briefs Post

You may need to read yesterday’s pleas to Nike here to understand what is to follow-

Attention Nike: Make Me Up Some Dri-Fit Boxer Briefs Stat

Posted on July 18, 2012 by Joey C


Some of you kind readers are sending in links to what I would call compression shorts which are made out of a similar material to Nike Dri-Fit material but I should probably explain why this is no where near what I’m talking about.

Sent in by Rob-


I’m trying to let my boys hang free.  I’m not looking to mash my junk all up inside my body cavity like those spandex wearing cyclists who are looking for a .00000001 percent time savings in their bike next race.

There was a spirited conversation on twitter on the subject yesterday.

When asked how many pairs you would commit to buying here are the responses-

John McElhenny-



Patrick Ryan Puts A Name To Them “Bizalls”-


Ryan Pinkham wants to know what kind of squares still wear underwear to begin with


McElhenny’s imagination gets the best of him-


Patrick Ryan with the obligatory Cyclist reference-


Steve Saleeba piles on-


Now this is just plain rediculous-


McElhenny calls for a biker cap to top it off right-



Kenny MacCarthy concurs-


I’m looking for comfort and I don’t want my nuts on a hot sweaty day stuck to my leg.  As I’ve gotten older let’s just say that the boys don’t hang as high and tight as they used to.  So I’d like a little room for them to hang out and not be all smashed up in my shorts, know what I mean?

I also don’t want pink, purple, navy blue lime green, polka dotted or any combination of the sort.  I want white.  The way underwear is supposed to be.


Also sent in by Rob C-


Who in the world needs that kind of gap underneath their ball bag?  I don’t need  a shelf, I just need the classic boxers.  I’m thinking those grey ones are made for eunuchs.

So Nike, if you’re listening just think of a classic style boxer short but made out of your awesome Dri-Fit moisture wicking material.  Not hard to whip up is it?

Attention Nike: Make Me Up Some Dri-Fit Boxer Briefs Stat


I have the greatest idea in the history of underwear and I can’t believe this hasn’t been done already.

With the insano heat we’ve been experiencing I know men everywhere will agree that a sweaty nutbag that’s stuck to your leg is just no fun.

Nike makes the greatest Dri-Fit moisture wicking t shirts known to man so why not whip up some Dri-Fit Boxer Briefs?

Hey I’ll be the spokesmodel for free. I’ll be the first customer and I’ll promise to buy 10 pairs (white please, I don’t need any fancy wierdo colors or designs, call me traditional)

Just get on it and produce me some Nike like STAT.

Men everywhere shouldn’t have to endure heat induced sticky nuts all day long when the answer and the technology is there for the taking.

My platform if I ever run for President will be nice dry nutsacks for every man in America if I get elected.  Screw wasting money on all these messed up pseudo environmental programs where the only one saving or making money are the hacks behind these pseudo green technologies who take bajillions from our taxes.  I’m promising a better American guaranteed and it starts with nice dry nuts.

Dry Nuts are Happy Nuts- That’s what I always say.

Who’s With Me?

Signed Joey C



(I’ve dated some broads in the past that could probably benefit from some Dri-Fit panties as well) just sayin…

Old School Kicks never Looked Like This

While walking down Lincoln Road and Washington Street in South Beach there were many places selling sneakers like this.

I went in to snap some pictures and the young salesman asked me which pair I wanted to try on.   I told him I wasn’t interested and if the kids were buying these funky sneakers.  He replied that these sneakers were bringing it back “Old School”.  To which I told him that old school kicks never looked like that and in fact if you ever showed up wearing those things you’d get your ass handed to you back in the day.