Who pays on the first date? In the year 2015 there really isn’t a right or wrong answer.
Some men get offended when a woman insists on paying the bill and some women get offended when the men are adamant on paying. Is it who asks out who first is the one that pays? Is it the person that picks the place? Nevertheless it can be an awkward moment at the end of the meal.
Kids do not come with an instruction manual and it does not get any easier when they are teenagers! Teenagers who want to date! I would like to say to my daughter, you can date when you are 30! (actually I do) I guess it’s a part of growing up, the whole dating and crush thing in high school. We’ve all been there but when it comes to your own kids frankly it just sucks.
It’s no secret that the world we live in today is NOT the same world from even 15 years ago.
Social media and texting just came into play when I graduated high school so I cannot imagine having the outlets these kids have today. Texting, Facebook, Instagram, email etc. the list goes on and on. Have you read what these kids are texting each other when they are dating? Have you seen the pictures these kids are posting when they are dating? Trust me I’ve seen my fair share and more than I want.
What I have seen in my time as a mother is the kids who are dating have parents that are older, as in 50’s and 60’s with a teenager. It’s the younger parents I see that are more hesitant to let their kids date. Why do you think that is? Is it because the older parents are out of touch with social media as opposed to the younger parents who are also on social media and can monitor their kids? There may be no real answer as to what age you should let your teenager date but there are definitely some factors we have today that were not there some time ago.
Active Widow asks-
I am a 65 year old widow. I am still active and live on Cape Ann. I am not sure how to go about dating these days, or how to start. Or should I even start?
While I feel very confident in how to answer many questions that come in, there are questions where I don’t feel qualified to answer. This is one of these questions.
On one hand even reaching out to ask about how to go about starting to date makes me think she is interesting in getting out there. On the other hand “Active Widow” ends asking if she should even start. This leads me to believe that there is a certain hesitation. So perhaps our older readers can give some advice here from personal experience.
I like the idea of older folks dating and not just ending their romantic lives once their spouses pass but I imagine it has to be a very personal thing and there can’t be one answer that’s right for everyone.
I often wonder if people in their sixties lose their spouses and then start dating and end up having great sex lives. Like are people in their sixties getting all freaky in these retirement communities? Can’t you just see Wilford Brimley on the set of the classic 1985 movie Cocoon just drilling all the old broads in his trailer in between scenes?
While I like the idea of older folks getting their groove on I don’t really even want to picture it to be honest. Like the most gruesome thing any kid can ever encounter- “the dreaded walking in on your parents having sex horror” it’s the same type of thing. You’re happy if it’s happening but you don’t want to know under any circumstances.
If anyone has been in this situation or knows people that have gone through this please chime in in the comments below this post. If you can’t find the comment section because you subscribe to the GMG evening email, click the title of the post and you will see the comment section below the post.
Please send in your advice questions to firstname.lastname@example.org they will sure to be kept anonymous.
Concerned Mother writes-
My daughter really goes for the underdog (ie. losers). How can I gently encourage her to set her sights higher without seeming like the overbearing mother?
My advice? Normally I can bang out relationship advice all day long but my two little girls aren’t to that dating stage yet and I really don’t know what to say.
Like I know you want to keep the lines of communication open between you and your daughter. I know you could potentially say things to her, calling the guys she’s dating a loser when they have a fight and then they make up, she tells the guy what you said and then the guy spends the rest of his living days trying to convince your daughter what a terrible parent you’ve been.
I get all that but I just don’t know that I have what it takes to sit back and watch some douchebag take advantage of one of my girls.
So I’m throwing this one out there to our informed and brilliant readership. What would you do?