Bartender crush writes-
Hey Joey-Can you give me some advice-
I have a crush on a bartender here in town.
When I am there with my friends I am way to nervous to ask him out. I’m sure he has plenty of girls that are into him and I don’t know of a way to stand out and get his attention. What should I do?
OK, here you go.
I’m pretty sure we are living in the year 2012, right? This isn’t 1950 where women were expected to be docile quiet home makers and wait to be asked out.
I’m assuming you are a female interested in a male bartender but even if you’re a woman interested in a female bartender or male interested in a female bartender, whatever. It’s very simple- ask the person to hang out one day.
I’m not a fan of the stone cold “never met someone before and straight up ask them out for dinner routine” but the best way to ask someone out if you don’t really know them is to invite them to a party or an event where there will be a bunch of your friends, male and female there.
Perfect scenario is this-
A bunch of friends are going to a Sox game, you buy an extra ticket and ask the person you are interested in if they want to come along. This way you set up a date but it’s not like you’re putting yourself out there for rejection as if you asked them to go out for dinner one night. If they want to go, they go, you feel out the chemistry and if you hit it off you hit it off. If the person isn’t into you they decline but it’s not as if you asked them out on an official date so it’s not as awkward.
If you’re not into sports the Cape Ann Museum has been holding Cape Ann After Hours events where they have wine and get together that would be a perfect event if you’re an artiste. Get a bunch of your friends to go and then meet the bartender for coffee first at Pleasant Street for a cup of coffee. You’re friends will make you look like the superstar you are and if you are not comfortable holding the conversation one on one you have your friends to play off of.
Point is you can ask someone out without risking a huge let down if the person isn’t interested. If they are, believe me they will make the time to hang out with you and if the event you are going to interests them it provides a way for you to get together and feel each other out.
There you go.
If you have a Love Life or Etiquette question send it in to firstname.lastname@example.org It will be answered by me and you will remain anonymous.
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