With the number of Kickstarter campaigns spiraling into the stratosphere I’ve decided to launch my own Kickstarter campaign for the very first dedicated Vajazzling Studio In Gloucester.
Let’s be honest, if Short and Main can raise $22K to pay for a Pizza Oven, my drumming up the dough for a Vajzzling Studio should be a no-brainer.
If Duckworth Bistrot can enter a contest for a new door, if EJ can pull off a Kickstarter for her Owl and The Pussycat book, if some crazy cat lady can get a felt costumes for kitty cats project funded, then there’s no way in hell we would fail in our quest to raise enough dough for a fancy local Vajazzling studio.
It’s all the rage. Screw this lobster business crap. Stinky bait, angry lobstermen, early morning start time and long hours vs Vajazzling coochies for a living. Hmmm this is not a very difficult decision.
I’ll just need a back up man to take care of the not-so-attractive patrons. Paulie Walnuts is looking for work. Bingo! Paulie Walnuts and me Vajazzling coochies all over the North Shore.
Help me make my Vajazzling dream a reality. Look for my upcoming Gloucester based Vajazzling Kickstarter campaign which will be forthcoming. I will offer many levels of pledges starting with base level backers and working our way up to more comprehensive “rewards” for more substantial backers.
Short and Main offered a $100 option for-
Receive a signed copy of Food & Wine’s latest cookbook, “America’s Greatest New Cooks” featuring Nico and Amelia Monday. You’ll also receive a menu from opening night and a thank you video from Matt in his lobster suit.
Hell I’ll toss in a signed GMG DVD, a couple Homie Stickas and a video of me in a monkey suit singing the start spangled banner for a hundred bones.
Disclaimer: woman I live with and may or may not be related to through marriage will not be pledging.
If Jennifer Love Hewitt is all in for Vajazzling it’s good enough for me.
If this works out (and obviously it’s money in the bank) we’ll get Kim Smith in there to penizzle up dude’s man-parts.
We could take over the world Vajazzling and Penizzling women and men all over the North Shore.
Over/Under on the amount of time before we see a Kickstarter project for the Paint Factory project offering people the right to come in and paint or landscape the joint for a mere $100,000?
I’m saying within six months and I’m taking the under.