On Flu Hysteria and The Self Admitted Creepy Guy On Twitter (oh and a poll too)

So yesterday I’m reading all the hysteria about the flu on twitter and suddenly now that Menino announced it as a crisis I guess everything that every man woman and child knew about  this flu season  became real for folks.  But I came across this Tweet that was the straw that broke the camel’s back as far as the hysteria meter goes-

Let me answer unequivocally that I’d rather be the dude that sucks up a couple days with the flu rather than the dope that goes a whole winter wearing a surgical mask.

I hope to god this guy is married already because he’s got zero and I mean zero chance of getting laid rocking a surgical mask out and about all winter.  We’re talking about an epic case of blue balls.  And you know what?  If it comes between an epic case of Blue Balls and an Epic Case of The Flu, give me the Flu 100 times out of 100.

We’re talking about a flu.  Yeah, a nasty flu.  A really sucky fever and chills flu.  Any parent that has had it or had a child with it can tell you how sucky it is but you don’t see the most paranoid Type A moms in the Hamilton or Manchester Mother’s clubs wearing surgical masks.  So I’m gonna venture out on a limb here and use that as my litmus test.  If the Alpha Psycho Type A Moms of the world aren’t even considering wearing surgical masks then no man should wear one.

If you are battling a life threatening illness or if you’re eighty years old and can die of pneumonia, if you have a young newborn at risk at home, by all means, but not if you’re a healthy 30 or 40 something. We’re not talking about SARS.  We’re talking about a flu.

Man Up Bro.


(I just totally signed my I’m gonna get the Flu the minute I land back in Boston card)

Anyway- here’s the poll-


  • Just maybe the guy in the mask does have a life threatening illness OR maybe he has the flu and is trying not to infect others while on the way to Dr. The mask is kind of a “so what” thing in the overall scheme of things. Chill….


  • Joey, stop it….the picture is from Asia – they wear masks because the pollution is so bad!
    If you had any facts at all, except Twitter, you might have read that this type A flu is hitting young children and their “I don’t want my kids to have flu shots” parents are spending up to 13 hours
    in ER’s as doctor’s offices are too crowded.

    Be cocky on your flight home…..at least wipe down armrests, controls and tray table with anti-bacterial wipes. Flu duration 10 day to 6 weeks….the cough is a bastard! Don’t turn on your air vents in flight. Put the masks on your armpits, and you will have taken care of two issues.

    Please get your flu shots everyone –
    Cynthia Hill
    Wayland Board of Health


    • Cynyhia not for nothin’ but aren’t you the master of the obvious? We’ve got our flu shots and wipe down our seats and armrests and trays with antibacterial wipes.

      And no they didnt start wearing the masks in Asia because of pollution it was because of SARS.

      Hopefully if you voted yes to wearing the mask you’ll
      send us a photo of you wearing it around to set a good example and not sound like a hypocrite.

      I’d like to think the GMG readership gets it but you take everything so literally it’s exhausting having to explain the obvious jokes to your politically correct self.

      Should I also take the time to explain to folks that might have thought I’m actually outraged at the Cambridge Health Officials endorsement of banning large sodas that its more about making fun of how ridiculous the notion that we need public health officials to dictate what goes into our bodies while I lay laughing on the beach as I write the piece while pouring down super sugary girly-man drinks?

      Should I actually take the time to explain that in my “Poop vs Lysol” post yes, Poop vs Lysol that I don’t really go down on my elbows commando style to exit bathrooms to escape poop/lysol smells?

      Do people still not grt that this is a blog meant for entertainment in which everyone including myself gets skewered in the name of fun?

      Have you not seen my rants about my terrible nosehair, male pattern baldness, armpiit hair, ect, ect, ect? Do you not read the ball busting that goes on in the comment sections?

      Please, if we cant laugh at ourselves and the rest of the worlds imperfections then maybe the people that dont get that GMG is not Time or Newsweek, it’s for fun and you suck the joy right out of it w hen you and the politically correct folk like you cant grasp the incorrect part. You say in your many critical comments on my rants that I need to get over myself. No, the folks that take every obviously outrageous rant and try to turn it into something serious that a politician is lobbying for need to get off their high horse and get that this for entertainment, not politics. I cant stand politics.

      Maybe this blog isnt for you.


  • You think “manning up” is something that the flu virus respects? Back at the end of WWI, a strain of flu came along that killed more American soldiers than the war itself. Those guys were all young tough dudes with lots of testosterone, and a lot of good it did them.


    • I think wearing masks if you are a healthy 30 or 40 year old all winter long is extreme and the act of hysterical people. That’s what I think.

      Like I said if you’re sick or have young children that are at risk by all means. I just don’t see healthy 30-40 year olds rocking surgical masks every time they leave the house. If a bunch of healthy 30-40 year olds start dying from the flu that’s a different story but that simply isn’t the case.


    • The “influenza,” as it was called, greatly affected Gloucester after WWI. Hospitals were so overcrowded that tents were set up in fields to care for the sick and dying. I don’t have any photos of this, but maybe the “Infamous” one could show us a few. Fred? This was no laughing matter.


      • Fred, I think I remember having a pic of Burnhams Field as a “Tent City” post WW I. Could this have been for what was called the “Spanish Flu”? I will try to find it. Also, The other night I watched most of a PBS show on the American Field (Ambulance) Service. It was highly interesting. A big segment about Cape Ann and it’s hero A Piatt Andrew and his home “Red Roof” on the Point.


        • Hi Bob, the tents were most likely for flu patients. Love to see it. Hope things are going well at R&W. I’m embarrassed that I haven’t made it up there for a tour yet 😦


  • First of all, a paper face mask isn’t going to protect you from particles as small as a flu virus-it will stop a lot of it from becoming airborne if you HAVE the flu and you cough, so it could be useful if you’re infected and you want to be super considerate in crowds. Also, the 1918 Spanish Flu was a unique product of millions of infected soldiers living in crowded trenches during the final months of WWI, a perfect storm of incubation and mutation. The possibility of those identical conditions occurring today are practically nonexistent. But flu hysteria IS a hugely useful mass diversion from the problems the nation is really facing, so it will never really go away


  • Joey…you ever think those “Type A moms in the Hamilton or Manchester Mother’s clubs,” in their head to toe Lululemon attire, are so vain that they choose sickness over appearance any day … 🙂


  • I hope to see close to the same number of respondents who vote yes to wearing a surgical mask, wearing a surgical mask. 🙂


  • As the city of Boston is in a state of flu emergency, and with reading the comments on GMG, I was curious and googled the 1918 influenza pandemic. I read several articles–some interesting theories and facts can be found on this http://virus.stanford.edu/uda/ link. “The Spanish Flu or “La Grippe” is believed to have started in China, with pigs; then developed in pockets across the globe; levels of global high humidity and trench warfare catapulted its spread; most deadly to 20-40 year olds; killed 20-40 million people; killed more people than the bubonic plague.

    With the type b flu that is currently circulating the globe, there is time to get medical attention, unlike the Spanish Flu, which was so virulent, it could kill within several hours of developing outward symptoms.

    Please stay healthy everyone!


  • OK, so I caught it. Two days before Christmas, a cough originating somewhere at the top of my chest, and a couple of hours later, the boy starts coughing too. The next day, we are in bed, for all of Christmas right through the New Years holidays. With the nastiest, most mucousy virus I remember having in my 5 decades of life. I coughed so hard I raised mucous from my toes and it was blood tinged. I still have a slight cough to remind me to wash my hands after venturing out in public. Moral of the story- Doctors, tell your patients no going to work, school, etc., when they are sick. Parents, teach your kids to wash their hands often, and if you are susceptible, don’t go out in crowds when these things are going around. No, I would not wear a mask the whole winter, but I avoid shopping malls (like the plague!) and always wash my hands when I come home from the grocery. And, yeah, I confess to now carrying those antiseptic wipes and cleaning off library computer keyboards, public seating, etc. and yeah, I used to think only wussy, hypochondriac people did that 🙂


    • Washing your hands with antibacterial soap and carrying wipes doesn’t make you a wussy it makes you smart.

      What is rediculous is for everyone to go around wearing surgical masks all day when you’re perfectly healthy. That’s the point.


  • I’d like to know how many people that have the flu this season GOT the flu shot? They don’t tell ya that know do they? Yeah, yeah, I know, you can’t get the flu from the flu shot blah, blah, blah.


  • I think the surgical masks in addition to looking ridiculous also may give a false sense of security if you walk around all day touching things then rubbing your eyes or picking your nose without washing your hands no mask is going to keep you safe from that.


  • Interesting: http://forgottennewengland.com/2011/12/17/1918-spanish-influenza-invades-massachusetts/

    Wife – no shot – got it
    Me – shot – no surgical mask- so far so good


  • i love vacation posts!! I am still laughing as I type this


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