Terrible Advice From Merideth Goldstein “Love Letters” Column On Boston.com
She can’t be this naïve can she? Here’s the column from Boston.com and the right way to handle it underneath from your boy Joey C
Q: Hi Meredith,
I have read your column for years, but until now have never found the need to seek your advice. You see, I was in a happily-ever-after relationship for 7 years, and we were supposed to start planning our wedding until … we started a long distance relationship, and 2 months in, he asked for a break over text message.
It was unexpected for me, and it broke my heart. I love him, and I respected the break for a while, but then I started questioning everything. Every time I try to reach out to him, the end result is the same: he pleads for more time (usually over email/text), gives no answers, and seems to avoid me. I have decided that it is over, but I can’t bring myself to move forward. I feel as though I need to let him know it’s over, so we can both be on the same page (he would have to return my call first). I feel it’s important to show the respect to our relationship of at least a phone call even though he has not done the same for me. I’m embarrassed by how much I have reached out to him with not much/anything in return. Is it okay to just end this over a text message or email? Should I wait until he’s ready to at least talk over the phone?
Any advice would be great.
– Break Up by Text, MA
Answer: I really wish you could do this in person, BUBT. At the very least, you deserve an email.
My advice is to send him a long note (email) that explains where you are with this. Also leave him a voicemail telling him that you want to confirm your breakup. If he responds to these messages by asking for more time, explain that he’s run out of it. Because you just can’t do this anymore. It’s too confusing and painful.
If he doesn’t respond to the messages within a few days (like, four), end it with an email. Don’t do anything by text. It’s passive-aggressive, and you don’t want to have to keep anything too short.
As soon as you hit "send" on your email and leave that voice message, go out to dinner with some friends. Stay surrounded. Find the people who respond to you immediately. Keep them close.
Readers? Should she follow his lead and do this by text? Is it possible he doesn’t want to break up? How can she get him to communicate? Help.
and here’s the Joey C real answer-
Listen honey, don’t waste another second listening to Miss Goldberg. All I had to read was-
Every time I try to reach out to him, the end result is the same: he pleads for more time (usually over email/text), gives no answers, and seems to avoid me.
#Boom! The dude is just not into you. Don’t waste another second waiting or wondering about this schmuck. Go get yourself some fresh meat. The guy has moved on.
Miss Goldstein would have you send a long email asking for confirmation? Uhmmm really? You need to know anything more than the guy is avoiding her, gives no answers and won’t even return a call?
Like I said, don’t waste a second. Get yourself dolled up to the nines, join The MAC or some other athletic club. Get yourself looking all sexy and find some young dude that wants to pound the farts out of you. That ought to get you over this schmuck real quick.
The worst thing she could do is go back to the wishy-washy spineless dude because he might call around and try to hit her up for a drunken booty call late night when he strikes out at the bars. Then she’d get all those feelings back like he was really into her only to be left hanging by the phone waiting for him to call. Screw this dude. No wait, don’t screw him, screw some other guy that’s much more deserving.
#Boom! Pearls of wisdom right there baby!