To Whomever Spray-Painted Graffiti On My Fence At 25 Addison St Between 9PM and 3AM Friday Night From Kathleen at Big Mike’s Bikes

To Whomever Spray-Painted Graffiti On My Fence At 25 Addison St Between 9PM and 3AM Friday Night:

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We need to fund arts in education more. Clearly. Because neither I, nor the officer who so nicely came out to look at it, nor my neighbors can figure out what the hell you drew here. Sclop? Solop? Is that an E? A hat? A mushroom? Any one of those are the worst fake gang names ever. Sclop Hat. Yeah, that guy’s hardcore. We don’t mess with Sclop Hat ’round these parts.
I feel bad for you because on a Friday night, you didn’t have anything better to do than spray paint my fence. You couldn’t even get invited to a house party? On Labor day weekend? This is probably because no one likes you maybe because you smell or have a visible rash. Now I have to spend my day off trying to figure out how to get your shoddy, crapass drawing off my fence. I’d have at least been less pissed about it if it was well-done, but you’re no Banksy. I can point you towards Art Haven if you want to improve your artistic talent in the future.
This is why we can’t have nice things. At least you didn’t steal my bike, I guess.
You suck,


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New and used parts and accessories.
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8 thoughts on “To Whomever Spray-Painted Graffiti On My Fence At 25 Addison St Between 9PM and 3AM Friday Night From Kathleen at Big Mike’s Bikes

  1. You are hysterical!
    Maybe you and I should start a neighborhood crime watch ; )
    You get the graffiti over on Addison… We get the hypodermics and vegetable theft on Beacon

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  2. nicely put. losers come in all shapes and sizes, but they all share stupid. let’s hope he doesn’t apologize in dayglo orange..

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  3. I think it’s a reference to “Suspect Comprehensive Learning Observation Process” which is a test that is given to convicted petty criminals to determine their likelihood of every becoming full-on criminals meriting a true hazard to society, rather than just a boil on our culture’s collective buttocks. When a moron like this is caught beating a mailbox with a baseball bat or stealing a bike wheel, once they get to the station the cops will administer the test. If the dude turns out to be just a moronic pain in the ass incapable in any way of every even formulating a plan that would constitute a “real” crime they will just let him go rather than choke the system with these losers.

    The cops usually say, “Get out of here, you’re SCLOP.” This idiot must have thought that was some kind of cool designation and took it on as his moniker. He’ll keep it up until he falls off a water tower or dies of starvation while trapped inside a heating duct trying to break into an abandoned warehouse.

    I give him six months.

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  4. That’s a common slogan spray-painted on walls and fences in the Caribbean. It means “fast woman” (or you can substitute a similr term if you want.) I’m sure you will not take it personally. Loser-dom is international!

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