Grandma Ethel Needs To Put Down the Crack Pipe
It all started out innocently enough. It seemed reasonable when you quickly scanned over Granny’s ingredient list and hey, I can even let a lobster roll that has celery in it ride without calling them out but there it was, looming. The devil in the details-
4 1¼-pound lobsters, steamed
1 c. mayonnaise
½ c. pickles, diced small
½ c. celery, diced small
2 tbsp. lemon juice
2 tsp. celery salt
2 tbsp. kosher salt
2 tsp. white pepper
6 tbsp. butter
8 hot dog buns
She was doing so well.
- regular hot dog rolls- check
- butter- check
- mayo- check
But then the train veers off the tracks
Celery, lemon both no-nos, but the issue which is unforgivable here is glaring- the addition of goddamn pickles to a lobster roll.
Once again I will refer to a simply acronym which tells it all- KISS
Keep It Simple Stupid
There is no need to get all crazy just to be different. You can understand how some bananahead out in California could make this kind of mistake. But someone from the Northeast?
At least it’s not as bad as last week’s debacle from the broads in California who tried to pass off a lobster roll using frozen lobster meat, celery, onions, lemon and jalefuckingpenos.
Or Bucky From Ohio who details a lobster roll made on a French baguette.
Granny must think she has Tiger Blood ala Charlie Sheen if she thinks sneaking such ridiculous ingredients like pickles into a lobster roll is gonna go unnoticed.
Not Here- Not Now Granny. It’s Lobster Roll Eatin’ Season and We Ain’t Gonna Let You Lead These Poor Unsuspecting Folks Down A Lobster Roll Road Paved With Pickles Of All Things!