Tag Archives: Love Life

Ask Joey- Bartender crush

Bartender crush writes-

Hey Joey-Can you give me some advice-

I have a crush on a bartender here in town.

When I am there with my friends I am way to nervous to ask him out.  I’m sure he has plenty of girls that are into him and I don’t know of a way to stand out and get his attention.  What should I do?

OK, here you go.

I’m pretty sure we are living in the year 2012, right?  This isn’t 1950 where women were expected to be docile quiet home makers and wait to be asked out.

I’m assuming you are a female interested in a male bartender but even if you’re a woman interested in a female bartender or male interested in a female bartender, whatever.  It’s very simple- ask the person to hang out one day.

I’m not a fan of the stone cold “never met someone before and straight up ask them out for dinner routine” but the best way to ask someone out if you don’t really know them is to invite them to a party or an event where there will be a bunch of your friends, male and female there.

Perfect scenario is this-

A bunch of friends are going to a Sox game, you buy an extra ticket and ask the person you are interested in if they want to come along.  This way you set up a date but it’s not like you’re putting yourself out there for rejection as if you asked them to go out for dinner one night.  If they want to go, they go, you feel out the chemistry and if you hit it off you hit it off.  If the person isn’t into you they decline but it’s not as if you asked them out on an official date so it’s not as awkward.

If you’re not into sports the Cape Ann Museum has been holding Cape Ann After Hours events where they have wine and get together that would be a perfect event if you’re an artiste.  Get a bunch of your friends to go and then meet the bartender for coffee first at Pleasant Street for a cup of coffee.  You’re friends will make you look like the superstar you are and if you are not comfortable holding the conversation one on one you have your friends to play off of.

Point is you can ask someone out without risking a huge let down if the person isn’t interested.  If they are, believe me they will make the time to hang out with you and if the event you are going to interests them it provides a way for you to get together and feel each other out.

There you go.

If you have a Love Life or Etiquette question send it in to goodmorninggloucester@yahoo.com It will be answered by me and you will remain anonymous.

To rate this advice using the star system click on the title of the post and you will see the stars at the bottom.  I’ll be interested to hear your comments.

Joey C Love Life Advice- Recently Divorced Wants To Meet Smart Professional Women

Recently Divorced asks-

I am recently divorced after twelve years of marriage and having trouble getting back back into the local dating scene. Do you have any suggestions where to meet smart, professional women?

This is an easy one.

First off what I would tell you is to forget all about trying to consciously meet someone.  Relationships start when you least expect it and women can smell desperation from a mile away.

Lucky for you if you live in Gloucester there are only about a bazillion different social, business and physical activities happening each and every week.  Read the Gloucester Times Event Listings, Read The GMG Things To Do Section daily found here, if you love business get involved with The Chamber or The DMO.  The main thing is to get out there, throw yourself into something you really enjoy and chances are you will meet someone with like interests when you least expect it.

Now since you are recently divorced your confidence may be slightly off and the key to meeting women (or men) is confidence.  I would suggest at the top of any list that you start a work out regimen.  Working out especially at a gym releases great hormones and will boost your testosterone levels.  You will begin to feel better about yourself as you get stronger and more fit and believe me when I tell you, nothing is more attractive than confidence to women.  Confidence is not arrogance mind you, just feeling good about yourself will do wonders when you present yourself to a potential friend or mate.

The Manchester Athletic Club is teaming with women especially around 9am when they drop off their children at school and at that time there happens to be many fitness classes that women attend.

Cross Fit Cape Ann seems to also have a community sense of friendships fostering over there.   Now remember you’re not there to meet women specifically, you are there to work out and not be the creepy stalker guy.  Forget about consciously trying to meet women, build confidence in yourself and the women will come to you.

If the arts is your thing, get involved in the many artists associations like the Rocky Neck Art Association, seARTS, take some classes, you get the idea.

The main thing is to get yourself out there , foster your passions and build up your confidence once again.

Oh and the most important of all- DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES BRING UP YOUR EX.  Not in a good way, not in a bad way.  No prospective partner wants to think that you are still obsessing over a past relationship.  Don’t lie, but ABSOLUTELY DO NOT COMPARE, CONTRAST OR BRING UP YOUR EX! If asked a specific question about your ex, no matter what say something complementary and move on to a different subject without lingering on over it.  Nothing will kill your chances faster.

Let me know how you make out.

If you have a love life question you would like answered send it in to goodmorninggloucester@yahoo.com  I’d be happy to answer it and it will 100% remain anonymous.

What do you guys think about my advice?  Rate it 1 star is terrible 5 stars is great advice below the comment section.