Category Archives: Pimp!

Video- Jim Cantore Just Casually Kneeing College Kid In The Nuts

Search Term: Define Professional Hardass Weatherman

Search Results- “Jim Cantore”

I hope to see this kind of professionalism out of our new weather guy Pete.  Just kneeing MFers in the nuts and going about his business totally unfazed.

Pete, if you aren’t kneeing dudes in the nuts within the next week during one of your video weather updates I may have to rethink your whole dedication to being part of the GMG team ;)

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If I’m looking back on the entire body of Jim Cantore’s work I can’t find anything more impressive than this nutsack knee job. Imagine that. All the years of heading straight to the worst weather conditions- standing up to typhoons, hurricanes and massive flooding in the worst possible conditions and your life becomes defined by a perfectly executed nut slam.
I’m lucky I got out of our interview unscathed and nuts intact

Block Party Debris Field at Bodin Historic Photo

Fred writes-

Here’s my measure of our Block Party. This was a family event, and dicey weather was a factor. But the proof is in my sink. Big crowds, respectable sales, and boy were they thirsty. All of the wine glasses I had out were used, all the wine and beer was consumed, and it was a very successful event. One thing is for sure — we have a lot of happy drunken fruit flies in the back room.

Who is old school Gloucester enough to remember clear plastic furniture covers?

http://www.tlloh.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/sofa-plastic-cover.jpg

Dating myself, I remember back in the early 70s when making the rounds with my mom and sister Felicia we would visit all her Sicilian relatives on Prospect and up on Commonwealth, and they always had their living room furniture sets covered with that hard transparent plastic to protect it.

Never see those plastic furniture covers any more.  While talking to Miles Schlicte we were trying to figure out when, if ever they took the covers off the furniture.  Was it only for special occasions, or was it when there weren’t children around?

Did you know anyone or have any relatives that had the transparent furniture covers?

Not my mom-

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Joey C Kickstarter Project Number One- GMG Vajazzling Studio Project

With the number of Kickstarter campaigns spiraling into the stratosphere I’ve decided to launch my own Kickstarter campaign for the very first dedicated Vajazzling Studio In Gloucester.

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Let’s be honest, if Short and Main can raise $22K to pay for a Pizza Oven, my drumming up the dough for a Vajzzling Studio should be a no-brainer.

If Duckworth Bistrot can enter a contest for a new door, if EJ can pull off a Kickstarter for her Owl and The Pussycat book, if some crazy cat lady can get a felt costumes for kitty cats project funded, then there’s no way in hell we would fail in our quest to raise enough dough for a fancy local  Vajazzling studio.

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It’s all the rage. Screw this lobster business crap.  Stinky bait, angry lobstermen, early morning start time and long hours vs Vajazzling coochies for a living.  Hmmm this is not a very difficult decision.

I’ll just need a back up man to take care of the not-so-attractive patrons.  Paulie Walnuts is looking for work.  Bingo!  Paulie Walnuts and me Vajazzling coochies all over the North Shore.

Help me make my Vajazzling dream a reality.  Look for my upcoming Gloucester based Vajazzling Kickstarter campaign which will be forthcoming.  I will offer many levels of pledges starting with base level backers and working our way up to more comprehensive “rewards” for more substantial backers. 

Short and Main offered a $100 option for-

Receive a signed copy of Food & Wine’s latest cookbook, “America’s Greatest New Cooks” featuring Nico and Amelia Monday. You’ll also receive a menu from opening night and a thank you video from Matt in his lobster suit.

Hell I’ll toss in a signed GMG DVD, a couple Homie Stickas and a video of me in a monkey suit singing the start spangled banner for a hundred bones.

Disclaimer: woman I live with and may or may not be related to through marriage will not be pledging.

If Jennifer Love Hewitt is all in for Vajazzling it’s good enough for me.

If this works out (and obviously it’s money in the bank) we’ll get Kim Smith in there to penizzle up dude’s man-parts.

We could take over the world Vajazzling and Penizzling women and men all over the North Shore.

Editor’s note:

Over/Under on the amount of time before we see a Kickstarter project for the Paint Factory project offering people the right to come in and paint or landscape the joint for a mere $100,000? 

I’m saying within six months and I’m taking the under.

What Are the Chances This Potential Relationship Works Out Based On This Phone Call?

PSA for all the single ladies and men out there-

This shit right here is textbook what not to do the night you meet a potential date.

Desperation? check

Too soon call back right after they met? check

Drunk as fuck? check

Guy makes up excuse that he has indigestion to get away from crazy chick? check

Girl has to be what, an 8+ to even consider the call back based on this phone call and even then only a booty call right?  But under those circumstances it can’t be worth it based on this level of crazy.  I mean this is the amorous drunk chick, can you imagine the psycho version of her after the guy drills her and doesn’t call her back? 

The horror.

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