Jesus I’m Disgusting- Male Armpit Hair Poll

I’m gonna spare y’all the nasty photograph of my armpit hair but I have a burning question that can only be answered with a thoroughly scientific GMG reader poll.

As I get older my armpit hair much like my nose hair is growing wildly out of control.  It’s disgusting.  While I regularly maintain the growth in my nose hair, crazy weird wayward eyebrow hairs and manscape my junk I’m a little leery about trimming my armpit hair.

I don’t think as a man you want to take that armpit hair down to the skin like a woman but do guys regularly trim their armpit hair?  I’m reaching out because I honestly don’t know and I don’t want to create a monster if I get started and then the stuff grows back three times more thickly and suddenly my armpits look like a really bad 70’s porno coochie.

Just taking off my shirt and *POOF* strike people with a big ol’  70’s porno bush. *KAPLOWIE*

So male GMG folk, how do you handle your armpit hair situation?  Do you trim away a little to keep in manageable?  Do you shave it right down like a Georgia peach? Do you let the stuff grow proud and braid it occasionally?

What is your armpit hair management situation if any?


  • Charlene Carrier

    Make an appointment with Sandy at Debra Coull Spa on main St.Gloucester….Cc


  • Seeing things like “70’s porno coochie” is one of the things that keeps me reading. But from a lady point of view – I’ve never known a man who trips his pits. That’s just weird.


  • You need another choice. I’m 60 and it’s never been a problem.


    • You’re one of the lucky ones. You didn’t grow up in the meterosexual 90s.

      So unfair. Hair growing everywhere I don’t want it to. But on top of my head- notsomuch.

      Back in the 50s you had dudes like Sean Connery to look up to-
      Hairy Sean Connery

      Now you got these youngsters like Ryan Gosling shaving down for movies-
      Ryan Gosling


      • I never knew who Ryan Gosling until I saw the movie Crazy Love Stupid (or something like that) and the best line ever delivered was when looking at his six pack. Shoot I think it is the saem photo you selected:


  • I’m with Lester, not a problem and no African Jungle (although I believe you should use South American Jungle, Africa is mostly desert or savannah sort of like my untended pits.


  • This is so funny, as a woman, the hair goes from the legs and armpits to the hair on our chins…


  • This post was the BEST Monday Morning laugh ever~~~~


  • LOL! Thanks for the laugh. I wish I could help you but I really have no clue what guys do to maintain their armpit hair. I can say, however, that I’m not a big fan of the shaved chest. I like a real man with a beard and chest hair! I have no idea why Ryan Gosling is so popular these days.


  • Too funny. And I’ve never been bothered by 70s art films…


  • Three words from your post and the accompanying image are now seared into my brain: “manscape my junk.” The rest is like Charlie Brown’s teacher talking, “wahwahwahwah.” I will never recover.


  • Too much time on your hands Joey?
    You take a short vacation and yer mind starts to wander…. Well maybe wander is too tame of a word… your mind seems to have done exploded.


  • I’ve just downloaded the Right Said Fred song I’m Too Sexy as your ringtone when you call me…forget Metrosexual…you superstars are way to self concious…I am glad that regular folk aren’t so preoccupied…


  • Ummm….well, since I had a free minute…according to Men’s Health magazine, “put your arms by your sides—if hair is popping out at the front or back, it’s too long. The ideal length should be about an inch. Longer than that? There’s more heat, which means more sweating, more odor, and more looks from the ladies (and we’re not talking good looks).” It also says, “With regard to body hair, the line between sexy and scary is very thin indeed.” Which is definitely true. That’s two minutes of my life I’ll never get back :)


  • A little manscaping never hurt anyone. I shaved my pits completely once (with moisturizer and a face razor) and it all grew back. I say get to trimming, but use clippers or hair shears with sharp blades. I imagine regular paper scissors would be too dull… owch!


  • Remember that German photographer who took hunky photos of Joey for his pin-up calendar?

    I’m feeling another calendar coming on: The “Joey’s Anatomical Oddities” 2013 Calendar. You got the ’70s Porno Coochie Armpits (March). The Freakishly White Teeth Because he Brushes Them with a Lethal Jug of Hydrogen Peroxide (July). The Amazon Jungle Nose Hair that May or May Not Be Hiding Small Animals Up in There (October). It’s endless. Every man, woman and child will be clamoring for one of these babies on the fridge or office wall. New month, turn the calendar page, another freaky photo. Boom!

    Forget the This is Gloucester DVDs. This is GMG’s Next Big Thing.


  • You owe me a new MacBook Pro. Just spewed red wine all over the damn thing. Ok…so in all seriousness. Cut those mothers off. Do NOT shave it. (Kill 1… and 10 will come to the funeral)….just use scissors and tidy those pits right up. Who wants to look at that shit? And as for the junk. Well done. I tell my man…I do NOT want to be responsible for HIS personal grooming. There are a few things your wife does NOT want to do for you. Just get it done. And then more gets done. :)


  • You actually “manscape your junk”? Now there’s a visual! Someone send Joey that hand sanitizer, please!


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