While at the coffee shop this morning I overheard a bunch of stay at home mom’s all wearing yoga pants and sporting hefty diamond rings going on and on about how tough they have it what with their work out schedules and having to pick up and drop their kids and figure out what they were going to make for dinner.
I couldn’t help but wonder what full time working mothers must think when they listen to these women. As a matter of fact there was a working mother behind the counter who rolled her eyes while I was getting my coffee.
Now before you all think I don’t know how tough it is for stay at home moms and that it is a job in itself, I do. It’s one of teh toughest jobs out there. This poll is just for the working mom’s out there.
Alicia
blackswanbeth
Joanne
Paul F. Frontiero Jr.
Joey C
Marty Luster
Craig Kimberley
David B. Cox
Donna Ardizzoni
Ed Collard
Sharon
Vickie & Peter
Kim Smith
Fr Matthew Green
patrickr
Paul Morrison & RD
S.D. Kelly
Thom Falzarano
As a self-employed designer I have always worked from my home office, beginning with the pregnancy of my first child, and throughout both children’s childhood. My stay at home mom friends would often say “you are so lucky to work from home,” and my working mom friends would also say “you are so lucky to be able to work from your home.” I did feel fortunate, most of the time, that I could take care of our children and simultaneously earn an income, and counted my blessings that I did not have to send our children to day care, and as they grew older, to be there always when they came home from school. While working with my design clients at various job sites, we had so many adventures, the three of us, and our children saw and went to places they wouldn’t have ordinarily. My daughter is four years older then her brother and she was a tremendous help, and both were, and are, incredibly self-sufficient.
I did however often feel very, very torn and would have loved to give our children my undivided attention. When feeling low and inadequate, I would imagine what it must have been like to live on a farm, even just seventy years ago (and up until that time, most societies were primarily agrarian). Everyone—mom, dad, children, extended family members—worked so hard just to survive, from sun up ‘til sunrise, that no mom would have had the time (and would think the idea utterly ridiculous) to give their children constant attention twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week.
My advice to working moms—hang in there—as they grow older, if they don’t already know, they will appreciate the love you have given and grace you have shown despite the daily struggle of balancing work and raising your family. My advice to stay at home moms—for goodness sake—take good care of your hard working husbands and enjoy every minute of raising your children—you are so very blessed not to have to juggle work and family!
Right off the bat, this makes me mad. Yo, Joey, why pit the two groups against one another? It’s ALL hard. I’m not deliberately missing the point here; I’m just tired of the line constantly being drawn in the sand. I Am Just Saying.
Scout
P.S. I’ve heard being a dad is hard, too.
I guess i’m the minority on this one…when my kids were small I couldn’t wait to go back to work. The screaming and arguing and whining and tempers and feeding them all the meals with snacks and play dates with mothers you can’t stand AAAAHHHH REALLY? No thanks, send me to work and when my husband and I both get home we will take care of the rug rats together!
Much easier to go to work.
Having a family is a choice, havinge a career is a choice, staying at home raising a family is a choice,Some people don’t like the choice they made and just BITCH because that is their choice.
I
I have heard many of these conversation you overheard this morning. As a working mom, it makes my skin crawl. Pauline makes a good point. It is a choice to have a family and it is a choice to have a career. I made the choice to have a child but unfortunately, I don’t have the choice to work or not. I need to in order to support my family.
For those stay-at-home mom’s out there who have it so hard, please think of me around 5pm tonight when I come home after 8 hours of work to pick up the house, make dinner, do laundry, pick out clothes, iron clothes and pack lunches for everyone for the following day, give baths, read books and pick up one more time after the kids are in bed. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s not easy for you either…but please, don’t complain about how hard you have it and how long and exhausting your day is after spending it with your kids. What’s hard is dropping your kids off at day care for the day to have someone else play with them, someone else take them to the beach, to the park or do fun projects with.
Another choice I make is to not complain about my day. I go to work, come home, face each challenge as it comes AND embrace every moment I have with my kids. Take a moment and think twice before you complain about how hard you have it. Please and thank you.
Wow. What an utterly obnoxious post. I expect better from this site. So I take it you never complain about your job? Even a job you love? Never ever? If you have kids and care about them, you are working hard, regardless of whether you’re working as a full-time mom or trying to balance a career and motherhood. There are things that stink about being a full-time parent and there are things that stink about balancing a career and parenthood. There are also things about both that are great. The need to invalidate one or the other is petty and sad, which is exactly what your post is doing by making so very clear how utterly ridiculous you found that group of moms. At the end of the day, we’re all exhausted no matter where we spent our time, and it would be nice if maybe the little energy we have left is spent supporting one another vs. tearing one group down.
Disappointed in you, Joey C.
Hey Jenn, aren’t you late for yoga?
Nice.
I have been on both sides of the fence in regards to working and being a SAHM. Both choices pose challenges and difficulties. What people need to realize is that you make your own choices and create your own fate. Make the best of your life because we only have “One Life To Live”
As a woman and a mother I wish you wouldn’t pin us against each other. I am sure you knew when you posted this it would be a hot topic and if your goal was to upset a large group of your female followers than you have succeeded!
Not at all it’s very difficult to be a SAHM. Very difficult to be a working mom. MOST difficult- listening to the ones who obviously got it pretty good bitch bitch bitch every day in the same seats at the same coffee shop while their husbands are killing themselves making a living.
Toughest job you’ll ever love- being a parent.
I don’t know, it’s also really hard to hear the complaints of SOME two income families who rely on daycare to raise their children because both parents “have” to work to afford that trip to Disney every year and iPods for all the kids, the big house etc. You are painting with an awfully broad brush Joey. And your glib responses to posters like Jenn: very unbecoming.
Oh BS. That sentiment is really what the wording of the question “How Difficult Is It For Working Moms To Listen To Stay At Home Moms Bitch About How Difficult Their Life Is?” conveys. You could have just made a post along the lines of “how annoying is it when people complain loudly in coffee shops” if that was your intent, but you didn’t. You chose to make it divisive and judgmental (wow, who knew that sweatpants and a wedding ring was a sign of indolence?) so you could stir the pot and get a lot of traffic to your Web site. I’m sure it worked. Congratulations. Enjoy the nice traffic spike. The tradeoff is that I and many others have a lot less respect for this Website and it’s author than we did a few days ago.
LOL, you sound all defensive, LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!
You wouldn’t be one of those broads sitting around bitching about what an exhausting day at the beach it was for you are you?
I’m happy for women that get to stay at home with their children. I’m happy for women with the time to work out and chill with their friends at coffee shops at 930am. What I’m not thrilled about is listening to them whine about how tough they have it. It’s nauseating to me.
It would be great if they could acknowledge how great it is instead of incessantly complaining(not all stay at home moms, the ones that don’t appreciate time with their children and whine about it all the time).
I am so glad I posted my replies under my real name, so that everyone that reads this and knows me will immediately realize what a total ass you are being. Why don’t you ask your boy John McElhenny how much I bitch and whine and lounge around at coffee shops?
That might be the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time. (Right John?)
Bwahahahahahahahaha
OMG You can’t make this shit up!
Right about now I’m guessing my boy Johnny Is peeing his skinny jeans.
I admire and am good friends with Jenn and Joey. Jenn is one of the hardest-working, most involved moms I know. It seems like Joey’s post was targeting the complainers, not the SAHMs. Now I’ll run as fast as I can from this fracas.
John if Jenn’s husband gets just one sympathy blowjob out if this I’ll consider this post a success.
What stands out about this particular blog is that the blogger sat and judged these women. The blogger was clearly interested in the size of the diamonds rings on the women’s fingers and the yoga pants they were wearing. He chose to hear only the negative and to create a picture based on his own values and bias and what he blogged says more about him than anything else. And that’s fine, it’s just his opinion. I am a working mom and I am sometimes frustrated that I can’t stay at home with my kids. I’m often irritated that I have no time to work out. But to answer the question of how I feel about other moms staying at home and venting with their friends? I am happy for them. I don’t sit in judgement of their physical appearance or social status. I focus on the positive not just for their sake but for my own. I’m happy they can stay home to nurture their kids, stay in shape, and vent. Why? Because they are better parents for it, raise happy kids and as a result the world is a better place. To focus on anything other than the good would make me a miserable, unhappy person and I would spread that negativity which doesn’t help me or anyone else.
Anonymous — I love your very positive outlook and response. … your generosity of spirit towards others and yourself makes the world a better place for all of us. . . .!!
I am one of those woman that sit around at the coffee shop each morning from 8:15 until 8:55 AM. I typically sit in the same seat too! I don’t have a big rock on my hand, appreciate all my man does to make our lives better, look like a shitshow in yoga pants, and sometimes bitch about what I am going to make for dinner. We cover a shitload of topics in less than one hour. Some you would enjoy, some you would LOVE, and some would make you cringe.
Because in all serious….whether you are a SAHM or a Mom who works full time (while the kids are in school ) and are THEN a SAHM…we all work.
After my kid drop off I head to the coffee shop. Then I go to my job for 6 hours. Then I go to pick up the kids. Then I do all the stuff that goes along with having kids (WHICH I LOVE). Then I get home to feed them that dinner I thought up at 8:30 AM. From there its baths and bed. Then 4+ hours of household chores. No maid here.
So when you see me vacuuming my living room at 11:45 PM with a giant glass of wine in my hand. And a twinkie in the other. Please do not judge. That 35 minutes a day is about all I get to myself in any given day.
I am a working mom who works a very long day. I don’t get to drive my kids to school, pick them up, or even feed them breakfast in the morning. By the time I do see them, I am exhausted from a long day and a long commute. As soon as I step foot in the door it’s cooking dinner, baths, bedtime. Coffee with friends? Never. Date night with my husband? Never. Guilt? Always always always. I go to work everyday feeling like I am not doing right by my children. And I am not taking a vacation every year or living in a large house. So there is a whole population of women out there who HAVE to work. Who don’t have a “choice.” And don’t live in luxury because they have to work. So, stay at home moms, if your children are all in school and you have time to regularly work out, get together for coffee with friends, be there for your children as often as they need you and enjoy a fulfilled social life, enjoy it, don’t “bitch” about it. And while you’re appreciating it, recognize that when you bitch about it, you’re demeaning working moms all across the world whose hearts sink as they drive to work in the morning, knowing they have to miss their child’s play or recital or field trip at school. The grass is always greener, friends.
Bravo! Thank you for writing. Your post will resonate with many, many working moms. And all the SAHMs who can walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.
As long as your at my coffee shop, I don’t care who you are!
What it seems like here is there are some women that are misunderstanding this as me pitting SAHM’s vs Working Moms. No, no no no no. There are clearly lots of SAHM’s rich AND poor that handle their lives with dignity and class.
This is trying to make the world a better place by pointing out to those women who obviously have it pretty good that there just might be people all around you at the coffee shop that are barely making it and instead of whining incessantly about how tough you got it maybe, just maybe you show an ounce of appreciation for it.
Maybe.
This isn’t SAHM’s vs Working Moms. No, no, no no no. This is whiny, unappreciative SAHM’s vs Working Moms, Working Dads, Working Lesbian Partners.
The same could be said about whiny men who don’t appreciate all the hard work that SAHM’s do.
So next time, if you look yourself in the mirror (all those who seem to be so offended by this) and say “You know I’ve been a whiny little bitch”, maybe when your husband or lesbian partner gets home from work you greet them with a nice smile, some steak and mashed potatoes and maybe he or she will return the favor and go down on you and make your toes curl.
Look at that, everybody’s happy
Hey…cha ching, cha ching…I am thinking; a new reality show. This is better than Honey Boo Boo and Mob Wives. But really; I was fortunate to be a stay at home mom. I loved it. It had its ups and downs like anything else. My kids are grown; I am working; and I feel my husband and I did a nice job raising them. That is the most important thing..bringing up our children so they may become or hire the right man/woman to run our country.
Ahhhhh…..the grass is always greener on the other side. Ever heard that motto? I have been on both sides of this argument and can say without a doubt that neither one is easier than the other. With my first son, I worked 50plus hours a week for the first five years of his life and when my second son came, I became a SAHM. This wasn’t a CHOICE for me to give up my career. My husband travels and works so much that the cost of child care versus what I was making wasn’t adding up. When I was a working mom, I bitched about the hockey games and school get togethers and quality time I was missing with my son and now as a SAHM mom, I bitch about not having enough “ME” time, missing my husband, and what to make for dinner to continue to keep my kids interested in food. I sometimes day dream about the the commute to work when I was in the car by myself with a quiet cup of coffee and got to listen to something on the radio other than the wiggles. But that’s the thing…..we all need to bitch sometimes and thank god we have our friends to bitch to. We shouldn’t be looking over our shoulders during these bitching sessions to make sure we aren’t being judged. You shouldn’t be judging anybody period! You don’t know these women circumstances at all. Maybe they were forced to give up a career like I was or maybe they were over privileges mothers who in your eyes don’t have anything to bitch about. You need to look beyond the diamond ring and yoga pants because there was many bitching sessions I was in during both periods of my life when I had the diamond ring and yoga pants on.
Robin thanks for your well reasoned response.
I’m happy to hear you never judge anyone. That’s awesome.
I am sorry that you felt you were FORCED to give up your career and that it wasn’t a CHOICE. Not judging you but I am wondering about that statement??
I don’t usually respond to these public posts but the foolish topic and comments the author has brought to the table are too much to ignore.
I think that whether you are a stay at home mom or a working mom you have equal rights to bitch about your hard working day if you so please. Stay at home moms – what an exhausting, rewarding experience it is to care for your children. Working moms – same experience in a difference aspect. It is people like Joey C. (so I see in this article) that are the negative influences and are just looking to make a little something off of others – as Jenn mentioned, maybe you’ll get a rise in traffic to your site. What you are not getting is any type of positive reflection from those that are reading it, personally or professionally. All you have done is give yourself in a negative, disrespecting image to others. Shame on you for trying to benefit from this blog by trying to get two hard working groups of mothers to battle one another. I am glad to see that all you have done is pin both these groups against yourself.
What is it you think I make off of this??? My big ad revenue? There is none, we don’t charge people to promote their events or public service announcements,.
If you read the post I say “Now before you all think I don’t know how tough it is for stay at home moms and that it is a job in itself, I do. It’s one of the toughest jobs out there. ”
Don’t yall think you’re taking yourselves just a little too seriously and self righteously to say you NEVER judge or that these women should be able to bitch but somehow I shouldn’t be able to bitch about them bitching?
It’s a BLOG, LOL not Life magazine.
Put on some fluffy slippers, pour a glass of chardonnay, pop a few prozac, turn on Oprah and enjoy baby.
Do any of you realize that we all poke fun at each other here on this blog? Every one of us.
I guess for men it’s different. The amount of ballbusting we do with each other is directly proportionate with how much we enjoy each others company. Like the more I bust Johnny Mac about his effeminate skinny jean fetish the more he knows he’s my boy because I feel comfortable doing that.
God I’d hate to live in a world where every blowjob joke gets turned into a politically correct diatribe by the feminazis of the world. Is that really what you want? Every person in the world to be so corporate and politically correct that everyone is Muf and Bif in corporate America, afraid to tell an off color joke or break each others chops for fear they PC police is gonna come after them with pitchforks???
Like it doesn’t matter how much you give of your time trying to help a community, it just doesn’t matter unless you’re perfect all the time and when I say “perfect” I mean in a PC kind of blah, vanilla, not thought provoking way?
I’m not changing this blog to appease every single sensibility out there. I’m not gonna Disney World It. I’m not gonna Oprahize it just to make everyone feel like the entire world is rainbows and unicorns.
We’re trying to have some fun here. Poking fun at times and if your sensibilities are too delicate for it I’m sorry but I ain’t changing. And if you want to judge the entire 20,000 or so posts that I’ve put up on this blog mostly trying to help just about every organization in this community and lump everything I’ve done based off of one blog post, that’s your prerogative. I’m pretty proud of all the good we’ve done for countless community organizations without asking for a dime Hours a day every day.
Have a great day.
So you are upset about feeling judged off of one blog post (actually several if you count each comment, and since your subsequent comments were what was offensive here, that would really be more appropriate.) I didn’t like your original post but I certainly wasn’t angry about it. I just hate the whole “which mom’s life is harder” debate that, regardless of what you say to the contrary, was inherent in your post and in subsequent comments. I thought it was an obnoxious thing to put up and I said so. Then every response you made got more offensive. I’m guessing it took you longer to write all those responses to everyone, (most of which were, at best, not particularly nice) than it did to wait in line for a cup off coffee, eavesdrop on a conversation and scope out some outfits? Ironic…
“The amount of ballbusting we do with each other is directly proportionate with how much we enjoy each others company.” Interesting, because you and I have never spent any time in each other’s company. And if you truly believe that you didn’t cross any lines here, then it seems my newfound opinion of you is dead-on.
You just keep on doing what you’re doing. Go home to your big house and make sure your wife is doing a good job teaching your daughters how to make steak and potatoes. Write whatever the hell you want. But don’t act like you’re getting an unfair shake when people lose respect for you after you make it clear you have no respect for them.
Who’s upset? I haven’t laughed this hard at people taking themselves wayyyy too seriously in, well forever.
You just go on with your politically correct hyper righteous self and have a blast with that.
Like I said, I’d hate to live in that world.
I’m with those people who can laugh at fart jokes, blowjob jokes and yes jokes at my expense. Have you seen the way Paulie Walnuts trashes me on this site?
It was Tacos Lupita for dinner tonight by the way. Awesome roast pork burritos.
Take a deep breath and relax. Joe’s a A+ Ballbuster. you’ld understand if you had a couple. come down to the dock some morning. The insults fly and we or I leave with a big smile on our faces. He and “we” or maybe just “I” enjoy peoples reaction to a Risque or controversial post we put up. Life is to short to take it seriously.
Really? Why bring me into this?
That’s all he’s done since he was a little shit. Give him a break please.
My wife was a work at home mom back in the 90′s. She did a great job. Then she started working weekends. Thursday thru sunday as a banquet waitress. Those were the hardest four days of the week taking my 4 kids to sporting and cubscout events. Looking back on it. it was the best days of my life. Joey is Joey and just trying to get you girls riled up. Joey is stuck at the dock 12 hours or more a day at the dock. he’s not as worldy as me.
Jen Brooks- enough already. Get over yourself and this fight you feel you have to win. Move on and find a personality.
Just checked in to see where this all went. Yikes, Joey….you started a shitshow. This thing grew LEGS. As a person who has been a working mom, stay at home mom, and working AND *home when the kids are” mom… and tend to be a bitch…I did not feel you were pitting me against one or the other groups. And although I’m sure I have judged you, at times, on your content (um…and language)…I totally respect that it is your own personal blog and you can say, post, and and publish anything you want to. That is what makes GMG such a cool place to visit.
When I first saw the poll and initial comments…I instantly thought (in my best Holy Crap kind of thought) that you pitted YOURself against ALL of US! Watch out GMG. And as you have seen…. thats the way it went down. I was not incensed, but more amused, at your wharf rat language and triple dose of sarcasm. It was really dripping out of your comments… and women hate sarcasm. And yes, you are a well known *ball buster* but ya had to know woman ON ALL SIDES of the topic would call you out on that poll. And unite.
So…I am not sure if my LG/PST coffee group was the one you heard bitching…but on any given day…it sure could have been. Each one of us occupies one of the categories mentioned above. We often use language just as bad as yours. We cover topics that would seriously make YOUR toes curl and possibly make you want to sleep with one eye open.
We have conversations ALL the time on who has it harder. On any given day. And all of us are tolerant to whoever is having a personal RANT of the day. No matter whether we agree or disagree on the issue de jour…. we listen, accept, smile, roll our eyes, and even sometimes sit in secret judgement. But friends we all are. From all walks of life. Surely you have read Men are from Mars… and Women From Venus? I mean seriously…there are two whole aisles available for your enjoyment on this topic at the Sawyer Free Library. It ain’t a new argument. But yet. I am some kind of weirdly intrigued by a man attempting to take it on.
Be thankful woman love to bitch to each other at the coffee shop, Joe. After years of marriage…our husbands are used to listening to us bitch at home. I get no reaction there. I am sure my husband considers himself lucky that I am all done with my daily rants by the time he walks through the door at night. And rarely does he walk in to steak and potatoes either. Usually just to a haggard, hormonal, middle aged, woman stirring a crockpot of frozen meatballs. Waiting for him to bring the wine. And man…then I am all kinds of appreciative.
You hit a nerve ONLY because whatever position a mom/woman finds herself in…there is a crapload of responsibility that comes with it. Choices? No Choice? Love it? Hate It? Content? (Me, Mostly), Guilty?…(Always). But all of us, no matter what we do, work it as hard as we can. And actually, I know you get it. And your point is well taken and I for one will (hahhaaahhhaa) do a better job of containing my bitching. Not.
Joe, you really are a great husband, awesome father, hardest working man I know, and a most entertaining person! Go back to that role… and stay out of our estrogen pile. Unless you are buying. XOXO