To Whomever Spray-Painted Graffiti On My Fence At 25 Addison St Between 9PM and 3AM Friday Night:
We need to fund arts in education more. Clearly. Because neither I, nor the officer who so nicely came out to look at it, nor my neighbors can figure out what the hell you drew here. Sclop? Solop? Is that an E? A hat? A mushroom? Any one of those are the worst fake gang names ever. Sclop Hat. Yeah, that guy’s hardcore. We don’t mess with Sclop Hat ’round these parts.
I feel bad for you because on a Friday night, you didn’t have anything better to do than spray paint my fence. You couldn’t even get invited to a house party? On Labor day weekend? This is probably because no one likes you maybe because you smell or have a visible rash. Now I have to spend my day off trying to figure out how to get your shoddy, crapass drawing off my fence. I’d have at least been less pissed about it if it was well-done, but you’re no Banksy. I can point you towards Art Haven if you want to improve your artistic talent in the future.
This is why we can’t have nice things. At least you didn’t steal my bike, I guess.
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