Ask Joey C- Dating A Smoker

Dating a smoker asks-


Do you date a smoker when you hate it but they are a quality person.  Everything about them is wonderful they just smoke?


Dear “Dating a Smoker”

I guess you gotta ask yourself how hot they are.

You’re not talking about marriage, you’re talking about dating.  So if you’re all good with kissing an ashtray because they are an absolute smoke show in your eyes then go for it.  If you are used to dating sixes I figure the smoker would have to be an eight or better to make the juice worth the squeeze.   If you normally date fours they would have to be a six or better.  You can overlook a little smokers cough if they have a superstar ass or diamond shaped calves or a handsome face.

You have to feel terribly sorry for people addicted to smoking.  Seeing these poor bastards standing outside of restaurants in the freezing cold drizzling weather just to grab a smoke, stink up their breath, ruin their health and waste their money is sad.  No rational person continues to smoke when you take into consideration the countless negatives.

I should add that if kissing the ashtray mouth of the smoker makes you want to vomit you can throw all this advice out the window because I’m thinking there’s just no getting past it for you.


For the youngsters out there that might be reading this-

Don’t start.

It isn’t cool to smoke.  Not one, not “only when you drink”.  It’s really never cool to smoke.  It kills, you stink, your teeth turn yellow, your clothes stink, your house stinks, you blow money you could be using to drive a nicer car, to save for your education, your retirement or nice vacations.  Just do yourself a favor and don’t get started.  After heroin it’s about the next highest thing on the stupid meter you could ever do to yourself.

as always send in your Ask Joey C relationship advice questions to


  • When my father first kissed my mother, she was a smoker. He told her it was like kissing an ashtray, and if she didn’t stop smoking, he’d never kiss her again. She stopped smoking, cold turkey. Now they’ve been married for more than 40 years (smokeless!).

  • Perfect images and very excellent advice for young people.

    I know two sisters; the older sister stopped smoking twenty years ago and the younger sister did not. Now the younger sister looks twenty years older than the older sister and is in extremely poor health–very heart breaking to see.

  • The hottest girl at a bar can attract a million stares
    She lights up a cigarette.

  • Lines on the face, yellow finger tips, smokes comes out your pores, it also effects, heart, lungs, bone density, and of course babies… no reason to ever start…

  • Great advice for young people. I remember when My daughter Felicia was a toddler and loved to sit on her grandpa’s ( “Capt Joe” lap ) and he smoked cigars and when she kissed him she said grandpa I can’t kiss you anymore and he asked “why” she replied “because your mouth smells”
    So for all you grandparent out there who still want kisses from their grandchildren stop smoking

  • You know ~ everyone is sooooooo against smoking ~ no ever talks about alcohol or drugs and what that has done and continues to do to families ~ and young people ~ I am irate about everyone doing everyone’s inventory ~ especially about smoking ~ Live your life and I will live mine ~ Everyone has some addiction ~ no one is pure ~ my dear ~ enjoy the evening ~ namaste ^_^

    • Yeah Fuck it, let’s all light up and extol the virtues of smoking. While we’re at it let’s make sure we don’t tell our children about how bad it is and send them to school with a pack a day.

      • Yeah Joey you’re right. Wish my kids were still in High school so they could be on the thirsty golf team. and after the match against their rivals, they could go out and have a couple of your famous ice tea in a mason jar or red cup they can bring on the bus on their way home.. You have your thing, others have theirs.
        JUST SAYING.

        • There’s such thing as drinking responsibly. Smoking not so much. I feel bad for smokers is all. Not trying to villify them, just saying if you can save kids from starting I’m pretty sure we could all agree that would be a good thing.

          IMO adults drinking responsibly, especially socially with friends is not a bad thing at all.

  • I disagree that people do not talk about drugs and alcohol. Of course they do. But if you want to talk about the one of the trilogy that kills more people per year by orders of magnitude it is cigarette smoking.

    Smoking is the most preventable cause of death bar none. In 1965 the surgeon general did as what Joey is doing here. He raised the alarm. A paper recently showed that from 1975 to 2000 there were 795,000 people who did not die of lung cancer because they amongst those that heeded the warning of the surgeon general and quit. But if absolutely everyone had quit in 1965 there would be 2.5 million more Americans who would not have died of lung cancer. That is a big number. Unless you live in a cave you know some of these people who died because they did not quit. I know people who smoke. I know how hard it is to quit. Smoking really sucks that way but dying is worse.

    Cancer research is making great strides lowering the death rates of many cancers. But it is frustrating to know that preventable cancer deaths caused by people who smoke outnumber the gains made in all other cancers combined.

  • if the date won’t quit, you could pretend his or her mouth tastes like a peaty Islay scotch instead of an ashtray.
    But just remember if you cement this relationship, smoke will soon imbue everything in your life — you significant other of course, your clothes, your house and car and everything in them.

  • I was a smoker. The scariest moment in my life was standing in front of an x-ray machine to get a chest x-ray while I was going through diagnosis for cancer. I had been a smoker for quite some time and was certain that the result would be that I had lung cancer. I had quit only three weeks earlier, and I’ll never forget my last cigarette. I had just finished it and got up to walk into the house, and the next thing I knew I was on my ass. I couldn’t stand, couldn’t breath, couldn’t hear, and couldn’t call for help and little voice in my head told me, “this is what it feels like to die”. I thought it was the smoking and quit right then and there. Little did I know that I had Stage 4 lymphoma at that point.

    When my x-rays came back, they told me that my lungs were clean, and I was so relieved that I didn’t have lung cancer that I overlooked the fact that in the very next sentence they told me I had a ‘treatable disease’. That disease turned out to be Stage 4 Lymphoma (a cancer of the lymphatic system), and it was basically making my body consume itself. Oh, and three weeks later when they staged my cancer, they x-rayed my lungs again and guess what? My lungs had cancer spots on them. Then on my fist day of chemo my right lung collapsed, and I can only say that the treatment for that particular ailment still makes me cringe to think about it. They basically shove a plumbing fitting between your ribs in your upper thorax and connect you to a machine that will place a vacuum on your chest to pull the lung back into shape. This isn’t a surgical procedure, you lay on your side and they just shove this thing through your rib cage using a lot of force to make sure it goes through. After that I received my first chemo two days later.

    The most compelling testament to the addictive quality of tobacco is the fact that I would go to Dana Farber Cancer Institute every other Monday to get my chemo at the Infusion center there, and I would run into other patients in the elevator that had no hair whatsoever (including eyelashes and eyebrows), had a complexion that was white or grey, and sunken eyes, but they would reek of cigarettes! So if you’re in chemo and are still smoking – I’d say you definitely have denial issues.

    I mind my own business when it comes to other smokers, because I know how addictive it is and how hard it is to quit. I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that the feeling you get from that first cigarette will never happen again no matter how many cigarettes you smoke, and you are starting on a path of devastating self destruction the day you start smoking… If you smoke – quit. If you don’t smoke – don’t even consider starting.

  • Both ex boyfriends are smokers and let me tell you… I don’t know how I tolerated that for as long as I did. On top of the smell came dealing with their health problems (yes, men as young as 26 showing health issues related to smoking), mood swings, and crankiness if they went too long without a cig. Trust me, you can find an amazing man who has all the qualities you’re looking for… Without ANY sort of harmful addiction.

  • Thanks for sharing, Liv and Bill. Your stories are truly inspirational. I was a pack-a-day smoker until 1975. I’d run around Jamaica Pond wheezing, and when I got home – light up of course! It seemed non-sensical. When I went to visit my sister (Painter Barb) in Cleveland that year, she warned me that she and her husband had quit, and I’d have to enjoy my smokes outside on the mean streets of Ohio City. So I had my last Marlboro on the plane, obeyed when at their apartment (out of pride and fear), and then smoked my brains out as we bar-hopped with her fellow waitresses from the Ohio City Tavern. On my return trip home, the cabin attendant asked if I’d like a drink and cigarettes (you could smoke-in flight in those bad old days). After deliberating for a few seconds, I said: “I’ll have a Heiniken.” I never smoked again. In time, I found I could have coffee in the morning, beer at night while socializing, have a great time, and not smoke. I found that being a non-smoker to be a asset socially. As for dating a smoker, I see that as very unlikely. Beer breath is bad enough to a potential or current partner, but adding stale nicotine stench to it could be a deal breaker.

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