The Broads Out In California Try To Defend The Undefendable

You may remember a few weeks back these very esteemed food writers out in California tried to tackle the Lobster Roll.  Responding to one or two of our problems out of six about the horrible mistreatment of their lobster rolls, they try to defend the undefendable.  I think the Dali Lama himself would consider this cruel and unusual treatment to one of the most sacred of all dishes- the Lobster Roll.

Now they come back out and try to defend this shamockery of a Lobster Roll here-

HOMEMADE HOT LOBSTER ROLL Homemade Hot Celery With a Hint of Frozen Lobster If You Can’t Get Live Ones Recipe

 

IMAGE REMOVED AT REQUEST OF THE BROADS IN CALIFORNIA

***Please do not mistake the image above with anything served out here on the East Coast or for anything we would ever endorse*** 

Check out their recipe at http://chezus.com/ if you haven’t read the funny pages yet today and need a good laugh here- http://chezus.com/2011/08/15/homemade-hot-lobster-roll/

Joey’s response which I figure has a 20% chance of being published on their blog-

God have mercy on your soul.

strike one- frozen lobster meat

strike two- lemon? who needs to mask the taste of the most succulent meat on earth with lemon?

strike three- the golden rule. nothing green should ever touch your lobster roll

strike four- onions, really?

strike five- when you have more celery than lobster meat you know you’ve got a problem

I understand how you are trying to differentiate your lobster roll recipe from others but really the beauty of the lobster roll is it’s purity and simplicity.

Can’t you broads out in California stick to getting all crazy with tofu or sumthin more west coastie?

You’re gonna go and give our lobsters a bad name.  Oy!

or at least rename the title to Homemade Hot Celery With a Hint of Frozen Lobster If You Can’t Get Live Ones Recipe

Have a great day and try not to be late for yoga. Smile

18 comments

  • LOL!

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  • I’m with you, all the way on this one, Joey. In fact, I sent a comment to the chezus.com website too.

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  • Did you notice chez us recommends cooking the lobster for fifteen minutes?????? Perhaps that is why they need to add all the extras.

    Fill a large stock pot with hot water, add the quartered lemon and bring to a boil over high heat. Plunge the live lobster into the boiling water, cover with a lid, and lower the heat to a simmer. Simmer until bright red, 15 minutes. Remove from the heat, and immediately plunge into a sink full of very cold water. Let set for 2 minutes. Remove from the cold water, set in a colander, and let drain 30 minutes.

    And in reading another recipe recommended by chez us, from sassy radish: Cook the lobsters. Freeze them for 15 minutes before cooking, and then stick them in a large pot with a few inches of boiling water and a steamer. Steam for 15 to 20 minutes, until the lobster shell and flesh turn red and the tomalley – green. Allow the lobsters to cool.

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    • I’m not sure what we’re supposed to expect.

      this is what you get when you have left coasters talking about lobsters.

      Again, they should really be relegated to strictly finding out ways to make tofu interesting.

      I could even ghost write the recipe for them.

      Get a hunk of tofu
      add a ton of celery
      drizzle lemon on it
      add onion

      tell everyone at yoga class how healthy your tofu was

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  • shameful…

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  • It looks like some of their lobster is moldy…..

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  • And they even put relish on it!

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  • Oye!!! As an old Glosta girl (originally from Maine) brought up on Lobsta now (trying to survive) in the desert – I actually can “understand” this CA version…. They do not have a clue out here about the “real thing”! Always have to mess up the purest, most suculent food on the earth with “stuff”.
    Sadly, there are so few that even know out to eat a lobster the local Krogers supermarket removed their lobsta tank a few weeks ago!!!!!! It is also important to note, the price usually runs about $15 per pound!!!!!. At Christmas they would be on sale for a mere $9.99 per pound!!!
    Hmmmmm…….

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  • *LOL*

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  • Joey, have to take the photo down. No permissions granted there. By the way, here are the approximate cooking times for a live lobster – http://www.lobsterhelp.com/boiling-lobster.html. To clarify, the lobster we used was live and from Maine. We just suggest frozen if people cannot get live and/or cannot afford it. By the way, thanks for the traffic today. Us “broads” really appreciate it!

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  • this is how wars get started – think about the one between the big enders and the small enders in ‘gulliver’s travels’. nobody wins. let them eat crayfish. with aioli dressing, cilantro and walnuts. this recipe will self-destruct in 5 seconds.

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  • Why do you have to bring Yoga into this?

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    • I agree.

      Let’s not give yoga a bad name by association.

      Some West Coasters have the same problem of mistreating the sacred practice of yoga, too – evidenced by dog yoga and other shamockeries.

      Some left coasters even believe that yoga was developed in California! {This is no joke, this anecdote is was directly told to me.)

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  • The recipe story just keeps on giving, thanks for the laughs!!

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  • For a California broad to say the word “lobster” let alone try to cook it is blasphemy. You can get away with it if you’re from Maine. I tasted frozen lobster once. It almost ruined my palette for life.
    Tastes like rubber.

    Like

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