How to F^@K Up a Lobster Roll -For The New Readers

This morning I was checking the web for pictures of other people’s lobster rolls to stack up against Mrs Captjoes’

What I found was shocking and disturbing. It seems these mooks up in Maine have found a way to fuck up ruin a perfectly good lobster roll. Listen to me, under no circumstances should the words lettuce, paprika, French baguette, or celery enter the equation when speaking about lobster roll preparation.

I ran across a blog from a nice fellow from Ohio, Curt who runs a great blog about grilling and bread- Bucky’s BBQ and Bread. He details on his blog his exploits in Maine trying to find the perfect lobster roll and comes up with four entries all of which have critical flaws in what they call a lobster roll.

Here is one of Bucky’s pictures-copyright 2008 Curt McAdams

Henry VIII Lobster Roll

Can you spot the how wrong this is????? Lettuce???? French Baguette??? What kind of pansy ass bullshit are those Mainer’s trying to pull off on their poor unsuspecting tourists that don’t know any better?

Thank you Curt for providing that photo as an example of what not to do to bastardize such a wonderful Northeast tradition as a lobster roll.

Take notes Son

For the proper way to prepare a lobster roll see this post-

Lobster Roll Ingredients

Worls Greatest Lobster Roll

20 comments

  • Hey Joe. My husband got a few monster lobsters from Clark on the Sea farmer for doing an electrical service call for them last night.

    Tonight I made Jill’s lobby rolls. Had never bought Cains but bought Cains and they were UNREAL.

    Question…Can you freeze lobster meat and does it taste the same when thawed.

    Next batch will come from you! But hey, Free is Free!

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  • Well! That most certainly are NOT pansy ass bullshit lobster rolls in those last photos!!!

    Yum…

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  • Looks good..too bad a place in Rockport doesn’t have this info…they served the pansy ass BS you describe…hmmmm….

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  • be careful when you stereo-type those people in maine fu–ing up the maine Lobster roll.I am a comm-lobsterman in maine .I agree with adding stuff that does not need in there!! but don’t make it sound like every mainer does not know how to make a lobster roll.No hard feelings I hope

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  • SINCE BEING A MAINER AND GROWN UP IN THE FOOD ESTABLISHMENTS SINCE 11YRS ,OLD ,MADE THE BEST IN MY TIME AND KENS HEAVY MAYONAISE IS JUST AS AWESOME.THE BEST SCRAMBBLED EGGS I EVER MADE HAD LOBSTER STEW MADE WITH HEAVY CREAM THE NIGHT BEFORE AND I PUT A COUPLE OF LADLES OF LOBSTER STEW INTO THE EGGS IT TOO WAS FANTASTICLLY ” AWESOME.” I COULD EAT LOBSTER 24 /7

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  • Well I’m not from Maine but wish I was. Stonington or Bass Harbor or even Mt. Desert Isle would do me just fine. But Joe there are many places in Maine that don’t crucify the lobster roll. But I have to admit I don’t like lobster rolls. I don’t like fish sandwiches. I guess no bread is fine with me. I love my lobster steamed or boiled. It’s to good to even put mayonnaise in it. To me that is.

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  • Oh yeah, one more thing. You can’t knock people from Maine. Some of the lobstermen I know are from Maine. You want to talk cool? These guys are definitely the coolest. What can I say. I hope no offence.

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  • Sounds perfect except for one thing. Cain’s!!?!?!?????
    Heavens no- Only Hellman’s regular-

    my bias I guess… ;-)

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    • My bias is towards Hellman’s also. If I go to Whole Foods and the only normal looking mayo is Cain’s because of no preservatives. But I don’t wanna die of food poisoning. Hellman’s with Sodium Benzoate, and a pinch of calcium disodium EDTA is good stuff. It keeps the mayo fresh and tasty. Cain’s, once you open it, is a time bomb.

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  • I never made a lobster roll not sure if I have ever eaten one either. The first photo looks good to me. I wonder though with the heavy bread and lettuce if you can really get the full taste of that lobster. I have also used Cain’s mayo most of my life until someone suggested Hellman’s, both are pretty good. I love mayo and tomato on most meat and fish sandwiches and the buttered grilled roll too.

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  • I know this was done a while ago, but, after going through the lobster rolls that were not ‘right’, I recently, finally, made myself “real” lobster rolls, with very fresh lobsters… 1 1/4 pounders, with meat cut up carefully, just a touch of Hellman’s (no Cains here), on a New England hot dog bug that was grilled… You’re right.. the lettuce isn’t only not needed, but it actually detracts a bit.

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  • Please never ever freeze fresh lobster meat because when you defrost all of that wonderful, special and succulent lobster flavor is lost! TRUST ME!

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  • I grew up on Cains so that for me. I think its like your moms gravy or marinara sauce or tomato sauce whatever you call it you will always love what mom gave you more than anything else. So feel free to use what ever mayo you like just use it sparingly.

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  • has to be Hellman’s -has to be!

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  • I made a lot Lobster rolls in the Ship Ahoy Restaurant in Essex for 26 years. We used fresh lobster meat and Cains mayo on a toasted hot dog roll..

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  • Love finding another person with strong feelings about lobster rolls! I’m going to link to this on my blog. :)

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